A New Christian Discovers the Answer to Falling Back into Sin

man fallingMy walk with Christ started about 3 years ago.  My past is not atypical for someone who has experienced God’s Grace.  My life was spent as a self-indulged, drug addicted, sex addicted, angry, and violent, self-centered man.  My life was so pathetic that God’s Grace was the only hope.

I grew up not being conscious of God.  I went to church, married a Christian girl from a Christian family.  Although I claimed to know God, I did not.  My life from my preteen years was centered on drugs and deceit.  It progressed downward from there to 2 marriages and 2 divorces, treatment centers, jails, bankruptcies and worse.  I was the worst husband, father, son and friend of anyone I have ever known.  I was hopeless, suicidal and wanted the pain to stop.

God began the process of bringing me to Christ over about a 9-month period that had been followed by a complete ignorance to the existence of God.  Those 9 months saw me put in jail twice, a failed relationship, a failed business and it all culminated in a suicide attempt.  Praise God, He was not done with me yet.  During those 9 months I began to sense something was out there.  I began to suspect that maybe there was something that I was missing.  I began to read the Bible, but didn’t believe it, and began to pray to ‘the air’ just in case because the Bible was talking about Faith.  I thought ‘why not?’ so I prayed.  God began paving the road to Christ and the Truth was revealed to me.  Praise God!

From the day that I accepted Christ as my personal Savior the Blessings have been undeniable.  The peace was perhaps the first and most tangible expression of His Love for me.  I had gone from utter madness, anger and despair to an unexplainable joy.  I had no doubt that He was real.  I could see Him when I looked in the mirror.   Praise His Holy Name for His Grace.

God placed good Christian men around me to help nourish our relationship immediately following my salvation.  I found myself passionate about my Walk with Jesus and anxious to learn whatever I could learn about Him.  God led me to a group of men who were predominantly new Christians.  I also joined a church.  The church and the group were a huge Blessing in every aspect of my walk with Christ.

The changes in my life were evident to anyone who knew me.  I was no longer hopeless.  I spent the next 6 or 7 months in fellowship trying to grow in the Lord.  My sobriety, my peace, my relationships being restored, work, etc. were all signs that the Holy Spirit was residing in me.  I was loving Him and loving the changes in me.  The future looked bright as I tried to learn what His Purpose was for me.

Then something happened that changed things pretty dramatically.  I had a drug relapse, a bad one.  Looking back, it was kind of an odd thing.  I was happier than I had ever been prior to the relapse.  The Lord had surrounded me with Love and friends who cared.  He had given and given and given and I was in peace.  But for some reason I still relapsed.  The relapse shocked me.  After a few days the drugs were gone, the wounds were deep and my despair was immense.  I did the only thing I knew how to do; I isolated myself from my friends and family.  I ‘hid’ from God.  I was anguished.  I lied about the relapse even though it was obvious to everyone.  Those few days were very, very bad.  I felt very alone.

Several days later one of my friends called and said ‘God loves you.  He knew this was going to happen before the foundation of the world and He has already forgiven you for it.  Jesus already died for this sin.  You are forgiven’.  Those were the words I needed to hear.  I immediately hit my knees and asked God to forgive me.  I reached for Him and to my surprise I felt Him reaching back to me.  That was an amazing moment in my life and in my Walk with Him.

It took some time for the wounds to heal, physically and mentally, from my relapse.  I returned to my church and men’s group and my walk with the Lord.  Things went well for a few months and then I relapsed again…  and again…  and again.  As the relapses began to happen with more frequency, I found myself always getting back up, looking to the Lord, finding forgiveness and getting back to my Walk with Him. But I knew there was something wrong in my Walk when I could not find the solution to this recurring, grievous sin.

That was when I found SingleVISION Ministries.  I had known of SingleVISION Ministries for some time before I actually, physically met them.  I had a good friend, one of the men from my men’s group, who had been going to SingleVISION Ministries.  I also had another friend and co-worker who were being helped by SingleVISION Ministries.  I had actually recommended them to my co-worker.  I was not too sure what SingleVISION Ministries did but I knew that they had very obviously and positively impacted my friend from the group and then they had subsequently impacted my co-worker.  Both of their lives had taken a deeper, more powerful direction in their walk with the Lord.  That was evident.  All of this was occurring as they were both experiencing some serious, permanent, life altering events.  I was intrigued and hopeful that maybe this ministry could help me with my drug addiction.

When I first went to SingleVISION Ministries I immediately felt a Spiritual connection.  Although I was a sinner and was struggling with a very grievous sin, drugs, I was, however, still filled with a passion for the Lord.  I had known men who were warriors for Christ but this counselor was different.  I don’t mean to suggest that he was any ‘better’ but God wired him similarly to the way I was wired by God.  His passion for the Lord was to teach, to learn and to deepen his understanding of our Glorious Lord and Savior.  That was what I was looking for.  The counselor did not judge me. He seemed to understand what was going on.  I felt an immediate relief.  I knew that I was in the right place.

My relationship with my church and my men’s group was a wonderful blessing from the Lord.  I somehow knew, however, that I had outgrown the men’s group.  We were all growing but we were growing in different directions.  I knew upon meeting my counselor that SingleVISION Ministries was where the Lord wanted me to be.  My counselor spent some time, several weeks, getting me tuned into appropriate Scripture that went to the root of my problem with drugs.  He did not focus on the drugs themselves.  The problem was not the drugs but rather my underestimating God.  My counselor’s teaching showed me, among other things, that there is NO CONDEMNATION in Christ.  He showed me that my relapses were what God used to bring me closer to Him. Those relapses that had been tearing me apart suddenly took on a whole different feel.  I knew God was not condemning me for the relapses.  SingleVISION Ministries showed me that Christ lives in me and my life expressing Him in me is who I am to be, in His sufficiency, not my own. That was the turning point.

The relapses stopped.  Being straight is a wonderful Blessing!  The blessings did not stop there.  As is the Way of our Gracious Father He used SingleVISION Ministries to speak to me about things that I would never have heard through my men’s group or in my church.  I am not suggesting that they are not being taught in either place but rather that SingleVISION Ministries’ approach to teaching them, straightforward, blunt and backed by verse upon verse upon verse of Scripture, really spoke to me.  In my spirit I felt that SingleVISION Ministries spoke the Truth.  I just knew it.  SingleVISION Ministries’ counseling was the way God Spoke to me about growing deeper in my relationship with Him.

I know that my relationship with God is deeper and more fulfilling as a result of discovering SingleVISION Ministries.  I count it as a sign of God’s Love for me.  It is very evident that God uses SingleVISION Ministries to speak to certain men in a way that we can understand.  During the course of the counseling the counselor has taken a personal interest in everyone I have seen him counsel.  He has come to my house, he has called me at my home and he has left me alone when that was appropriate.  He has done what he feels led by God to do and his approach has been absolutely flawless from my viewpoint.  He has never intruded.  He has never given me bad counsel (although he has plenty of times said things that rubbed me the wrong way but he said them in Love) and has always been there with words of Wisdom no matter when or how I ask for help.

SingleVISION, through the leading of the Lord, formed a men’s group that meets once a week.  I have gotten to know about a dozen other men who also get counsel from SingleVISION Ministries.  Their lives have been affected the same way as mine by this wonderful ministry.  The counsel they receive plus the group fellowship has been a blessing to us all.  The changes in these men’s lives, and in my own, continues to lead in the direction of a deeper, more meaningful relationship with the Lord.

I would pray that if you were looking for a deeper relationship with our Lord that you would consider SingleVISION Ministries.  If you have a passion to pursue a deeper relationship with the Lord but don’t know how to do that then SingleVISION Ministries may be God’s Answer for you.

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